Past Bites Back
by Maggsie
Summary: When someone comes back into Emily's life, can her current relationship survive? Emily/JJ pairing!
1. The Liaison

**Hi everyone! Well this is my first foray into the Criminal Minds fandom, I have written other stories, but please be nice! :-)**

**cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcm**

**Past Bites Back**

"So, what is the temporary liaison like?"

Emily enquired, as she and JJ snuggled up on the couch, enjoying their rare night in away from work. Emily was leant up against the arm, as JJ sat between her legs, her head resting on Emily's shoulder. There was no sound, just peace and quiet, which was something they rarely enjoyed. After all if it wasn't Emily's phone going off, it was JJ's, it was nice to leave work at work every once in a while, and this was one of those times. Emily placed a gentle kiss behind JJ's ear, as her hands rested on JJ's very pregnant stomach, a big smile spreading across her face as she felt the baby kick.

"Wow…baby's busy tonight!"

When Emily had the abortion at 15, she never thought she would be a mother. She thought that maybe her chance of being a Mom had passed her by. She wasn't even sure she would make a good Mom, but after she had the conversation with JJ on the plane, she knew she could do it, and she was going to prove it to herself.

"Hey Em, what are you thinking about?"

JJ asked, as Emily shook her head, and looked at JJ who had turned her head to look at her. She leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on the blondes' lips.

"I just can't believe how I got so lucky."

And she didn't. Growing up and travelling around with her Mother she had had to grow up quickly, maybe too quickly. But she knew she was fortunate, growing up in a wealthy family, and she made sure she didn't show off about it, or put her nose up to less fortunate people than herself. But it always got her thinking that maybe she didn't deserve to have anymore happiness. She had a good job, and enough money that she didn't have to worry about anything financially. Did she deserve anything else?

But then she had walked into JJ's office to start learning about the BAU's protocol and procedures, and that was when her world got turned upside down for the better. She had been lost for words when JJ had entered into Hotch's office, but after spending one and one time with her, talking with her, laughing with her, she knew she could easily fall in love with the blonde press liaison. There was just the matter of making JJ see her that way too.

"Ah, and there was me thinking that I'm the lucky one."

JJ murmured, as blue eyes looked into brown. Emily could see the sincerity in them, and she blushed lightly. She had never been a person who took compliments particularly well, but slowly she was taking them better, thanks to JJ. Putting her hand behind JJ's neck she pulled her into a passionate kiss, only breaking away when oxygen became an issue. Smiling, Emily leant back against and took JJ with her.

"So, are you going to tell me about the new press liaison, or not?"

"Well, if you had been listening to me in the first place you would have heard me telling you!"

JJ exclaimed a hint of laughter behind her voice as she crooked one of her eyebrows up. The tips of Emily's lips slightly lifted as she tried to look as innocent as she could.

"I was listening!"

"Okay, then what did I say?"

JJ drawled, her eyebrow crooking back up again. Emily tried to think back, but she must have been completely in her own little world, as she couldn't remember a thing about what JJ had said. JJ was still looking at her expectantly and all Emily could do was laugh.

"Okay, you win! I wasn't listening, okay? But can you blame me, when I was thinking about my gorgeous wife in my arms!"

Before she met JJ, Emily didn't think she would ever settle down, obviously she just had not met the right person. Of course, she had had long-term relationships before JJ, one just ending before she joined the BAU, and she had been in love, but nothing like she felt for JJ, that was a whole new experience for her.

"Don't try and charm your way out of this one!"

JJ stated, but couldn't help the smile from spreading across her face. Emily leaned forward nuzzling her face in JJ's neck, making her laugh.

"You know how much I love you, right?"

Emily asked, suddenly coming over all serious, surprising JJ a little.

"I do know, and I love you too. I wouldn't have married you otherwise!"

JJ joked, a grin once more appearing on Emily's face. Emily couldn't quite believe she was going to be spending the rest of her life with the woman in her arms. How had she gotten so lucky? And with a baby just a few weeks away…and she couldn't wait. They would have their own little family, just the three of them. Emily pulled JJ further back against her, as she took in the smell of her hair.

"Okay, so back to this press liaison…"

"Oh yeah, as I was telling you before, she's joining us from Counter Terrorism. She's going to be following me till I go on maternity leave, learning about what I do and things. She'll be with me the in the next few days, you'll meet her at some point."

"Sounds good, now why don't we just stop talking and make out?!"

Emily asked excitedly, and JJ couldn't help but take her up on the idea.

**Cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcm**

"Hey, you guys have plans tonight?"

Reid asked, as they walked out of the BAU bullpen after just coming home from the case. Emily walked behind him with Morgan and if she was honest she had found it tough. Not just because of the case, but because JJ hadn't been there, and Emily really didn't like sleeping alone.

"I'm thinking about getting a burger."

Morgan stated, as they walked towards the elevator.

"Oh, I could eat."

Emily agreed, because as much as she wanted to see JJ and kiss her and hold her, she really needed to eat first as she was starving. Plus, she was sure JJ was around somewhere, it wouldn't be long till she saw her.

As soon, as she had thought that, JJ appeared from behind the corner. Her long blonde hair hanging over her shoulders, and her bump very obvious in the white top. Emily had never seen anyone so beautiful as JJ before, and she gave her a smile as she saw her, but it disappeared when she saw the person who was with JJ.

"Hey guys, I want to introduce you to someone. This is Agent Jordan Todd; she'll be taking over from me while I'm on maternity leave."

Emily couldn't believe her eyes, she hadn't seen this woman in over 2 years, what the hell was she doing there? She was in so much shock that she nearly missed Jordan talking to them.

"Agent Jareau has told me so much about you all. You must be Agent Prentiss…"

Emily shook her hand; Jordan's eyes were twinkling as they did. She knew Jordan probably hadn't done it on purpose, showed up at where she worked, but it was an extraordinary coincidence.

As Jordan met Reid and Morgan, JJ shot a small smile Emily's way and she gave one back. JJ obviously didn't know anything about her and Jordan's past, but then why would she? Jordan probably didn't even know that she and JJ were together, and she wasn't the type of person to make trouble.

She and Jordan had been together for 3 years before events led them in different directions, and they separated. She didn't know it at the time, but Emily knew it had been for the best. Now she was with JJ and a baby on the way. Jordan looked good, she commented to herself, as the team finished meeting her and JJ once again spoke up.

"Well, Agent Todd comes to us from 7 years at Counter Terrorism."

"I'm really looking forward to working with the Behavioural Analysis Unit."

Jordan stated, as she met Emily's eyes. Emily still couldn't believe she was standing with her wife who had no idea that the lady standing next to her was her ex girlfriend.

"We're starting her training now."

"You're training her right now?"

"Well, we're kind of running out of time."

JJ answered Reid, as she wrapped her hands around her bump; a big grin suddenly appearing across Emily's face as she did so.

"Uh, let me introduce you to the rest of the team."

"Well, I'll see you all in the field…team."

And with that, JJ entered into the BAU, with Jordan following closely behind. But as she walked past Emily, Jordan brushed a hand down her arm, followed by a smile as she entered the bullpen. Surprised, Emily glanced to see if Reid and Morgan had seen, and was relieved when she saw they were at the elevator. Looking back into the bullpen, Emily grimaced, and all she could think was…

_Oh, shit._

**Cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcm**

**So, what did you think? I'm really really nervous, so if you could tell me what you think, I'd very much appreciate it. Thanks for reading :-)**


	2. Dilemma

**Thank you everyone for your kind reviews, they make me smile. My muse also seems to like them as she came out with this!**

**Enjoy!**

**cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcm**

Emily walked into her and JJ's house, and let out a huge sigh as she put her bag down on the floor. It was always nice to be home after a case, but she didn't like coming home to an empty house. She was pretty sure that JJ was going to be a while, showing Jordan around the BAU, so kicking her shoes off she walked into the bedroom and collapsed on the bed, her arm moving to across her eyes. It had been a hard case and a big shock to see Jordan standing there next to her wife. If only Morgan knew.

Looking around the bedroom, she smiled as she saw all the pictures of herself and JJ. She liked the natural ones the best, where a tad of silliness had been shot, or when they were just lost in a kiss or in each other's eyes.

Before she had met JJ, she had been engaged to be married to Jordan. They had been together 3 years; sometimes it had to be long distance with Jordan in counter terrorism and Emily sometimes being placed in the Middle East. But they had made it work, though the long distance thing was probably the cause of their break up in Emily's mind. She had come home to their apartment after a few weeks away to find Jordan in bed with another woman, a woman she recognised as working in counter terrorism with Jordan.

At first she had blamed herself, for not being there. That maybe if she had been there more, Jordan wouldn't have looked for comfort from another woman. She thought that people only cheated when something was wrong in the relationship, and she started to dissect every aspect of their relationship, to see where that was. But then, that had faded and in had come the anger, and she kicked Jordan out of the apartment.

"_Emily, please don't do this, I made a huge mistake, I admit, but we can still make it work, please."_

_Jordan pleaded, and a couple of times Emily found herself nearly giving in and telling her that they could try and make it work, but she was stronger than that. She wouldn't accept being cheated on, by anyone._

"_Don't Jordan. We can't do this anymore, I refuse to do it. You need to get out of the apartment, and out of my life. I loved you, I still do, and I would have done anything for you."_

"_Then please, give us another go."_

_Jordan stepped forward into Emily's personal space, her bag all packed by the door. Reaching up she brushed a piece of hair behind Emily's hair, but stopped when Emily grabbed her wrist._

"_I want you to get out....now."_

_Emily demanded, and Jordan nodded, realising that there was nothing she could do to change Emily's mind. For one last time, she placed a soft kiss on Emily's lips and walked out the door filled with deep regret for her actions, and hoping one day she would be able to get Emily back, whatever it took._

For days, she had cried, but a couple of weeks after, she joined the BAU, and Jordan had become a distant memory. But now she was back, and all the pain that she felt when Jordan had left had come back.

Sitting up, she walked to the bathroom, got undressed and got in the shower, letting the hot water crash down on her, washing away the memories and the hurt, but it wasn't that easy, it would probably be stirring every time she saw her. JJ knew she had been engaged before, she just didn't know it was to Jordan as she had always avoided saying her name aloud.

Stepping out, she dried herself off and walked back into the bedroom, stopping to put on some pyjama bottoms and a black tank top. JJ would be home at any moment, and she wanted to feel relaxed. If she was relaxed, then it would mean JJ would relax, which was better for her and the baby.

They had found out a couple of weeks before that they were going to be having a boy, and since then they had been bickering over what names they liked and didn't. They seemed to have big differences in the names they liked. JJ liked Calum and Rowan, Emily liked Henry and Matthew, and they were trying to work out a compromise, which wasn't going well.

Hearing the lock in the front door, she smiled and walked out to greet her wife. Emily noted she looked very tired as she got closer, and was going to make damn sure JJ relaxed and let her take care of her every need.

"Hey baby!"

Emily greeted, as she walked up to JJ and wrapped her arms around her, placing a soft kiss on her head. She could never get tired of this.

"Hey yourself!"

JJ replied, pulling back and placing a long, lingering kiss on Emily's lips. Emily smiled and grabbed JJ's hand, pulling her towards the couch, and gently pushing her back to sit. Seeing JJ quirk her eyebrow she grinned, kneeling down to get JJ's feet and placing them on her lap as she sat down next to her.

"Tonight, I am your slave! First I am going to give you a foot massage, then I am going to run you a bath, and then I am going to cook dinner."

"What did I do to deserve all that?"

Emily looked at JJ, as she gently massaged her feet.

"You married me, and you're giving me a beautiful baby son."

JJ grinned, and leaned forward to place another kiss on Emily's lips. Emily winked at her and carried on massaging as JJ leant her head back on the couch, closing her eyes. Stopping, she took in JJ and how beautiful she was, before leaning down towards JJ's stomach.

"Hey, my baby boy, I hope you've been good in there for Mommy! She needs some rest tonight, do you hear me? I know you're going to be a soccer player, but no kicking!"

Emily admonished, as JJ laughed; running her hand through Emily's hair. She loved seeing her like this, carefree and relaxed. It was completely different to the Emily she saw at work, and she was glad that she got to see both sides.

"Jordan's nice; I think she'll fit in really well when I'm off."

Emily stiffened, and sat up at hearing JJ say Jordan's name. Obviously Jordan hadn't said anything as Emily was pretty sure that that would have been the first thing that JJ said.

"Yeah, she seemed nice enough. No-one can fill your shoes though."

"Well I should hope not!"

JJ joked, as Emily pulled her into her arms. Nothing could beat this, snuggling up on the couch with her wife, becoming a family in a few weeks.

"I am going to be the perfect wife and go and run you a bath."

Emily started, stopping to give JJ a quick kiss before going back into the bathroom. Just as she had started to run the water, her phone went off in her pocket. Knowing it wasn't to be called in for a case, as JJ hadn't called her; she pulled it out and frowned.

_Hey, it's me. I was wondering if we could meet up and talk tomorrow. J x_

Sighing, and in a dilemma as whether she should or not, she just started at the message. Maybe she should go and meet Jordan to talk things out so it wasn't awkward at work. Haven't made up her mind, Emily text back.

_For what?_

As soon as she had sent, her phone buzzed again. Obviously Jordan thought it was important.

_I just want to talk; I don't want things to be awkward at work. Please? Meet me at 7.30, where we used to have breakfast? _

Not even stopping to think about the consequences of her actions, she replied with okay, before stopping the bath and walking out to JJ. She would tell JJ she had to go in work early to finish some urgent paperwork; there was no reason for her to know. It would just create more trouble than was needed, and JJ needed to avoid all of that.

"Baby, your bath's finished running."

JJ looked up at her and smiled, and walked past her into the bathroom, stopping to give her a kiss on the way in. Emily wasn't going to let anything Jordan might do jeopardize her relationship with JJ. She was her life, and she was going to make damn sure that Jordan knew that.

Walking into the kitchen, she started cooking dinner, but stopping 15 minutes later when she felt two arms wrap around her from behind, and kisses placed up and down on her neck. Putting the knife she was holding down, she turned around in JJ's arms, and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her flush against her own body. No, she was not going to lose this.

Emily kissed her way along JJ's jaw to her ear, nibbling on her earlobe making JJ laugh. Kissing her way back to her lips, she pulled her in for a passionate kiss, only just noticing that JJ was only wrapped in a towel and nothing else.

Slowly pushing them back out of the kitchen, she carried on kissing JJ as she led them to the bedroom, kicking the door shut on the way. Tomorrow she would deal with Jordan but tonight was all about conveying her love to JJ, showing how much she loved her and she was determined to show her all night.

**cmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcmcm**

**I'd love to hear what you think! **


	3. Breakfast

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Criminal Minds. If I did, Emily and JJ would be having sex every week, and there would be no crawdaddy!

First of all, I want to say that I am so sorry I haven't updated in so long. My muse kind of went on holiday with this story, and then I got other story ideas that just had to be written, but I think I am back on track. Fingers crossed!

I want to thank **Darkbard0, **for kissing my ass, helping me with this, and for being an awesome girlfriend. Thank you baby!

**x x x**

Slowly opening her eyes, Emily quickly turned over and switched off the alarm that was blaring out. She didn't want to wake JJ up, and set it again to wake her wife up later. Squinting, she took in the time, and saw that it had just gone 6.30; she had an hour before she was meeting up with Jordan.

She wasn't sure why she had agreed to go and see her, after everything that her ex girlfriend had put her through. But a small part of her wanted to hear what she had to say, just for that bit of closure she still needed. She just wanted to know why Jordan had done it. Had it been her fault?

Placing a quick kiss on JJ's naked shoulder, she removed her arm from around the blonde's waist, and quietly slipped out of their bed. Being as discrete as possible, she walked to the bathroom and had a quick shower before coming back to the bedroom and getting dressed quickly, still aware of not wanting to wake up JJ. She hadn't been sleeping all that great with the pregnancy, so Emily wanted to leave her to sleep for as long as possible.

Looking down at her wife, and seeing how peaceful she looked, she debated whether she should stay with her, or go and meet with her ex girlfriend. If it had been anyone else she would have stayed, but this was Jordan, and it was something that had been on her mind for years. She had to do it, for her own peace of mind. And also, she had to think about work. They would be working with each other for a few months, so they had to put their personal issues behind them and still manage to work professionally. They couldn't afford to have tension, for the sake of the team and the victims.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on JJ's forehead. The media liaison slowly opened her eyes, looking up to meet brown ones, before closing them again and snuggling in to the pillow.

"Hmm...What's going on baby?"

JJ asked, her eyes still closed as Emily ran her hand through the blonde's hair, caressing her cheek with her thumb.

"Nothing, go back to sleep, you have another hour or so before you have to get up."

Shifting on to her back, JJ opened her eyes a little and covered the hand on her cheek with her own, entwining their fingers.

"You leaving?"

The blonde asked sleepily, and Emily wished again that she was staying with this gorgeous woman, rather than having to go out. She hated lying to JJ, her Jennifer, but this was something that needed to be sorted out just her and Jordan. And maybe in time, the right moment would come up and she would be able to tell her wife who her maternity replacement really was.

"Yeah, I want to clear my files so I don't have to stay behind tonight."

"Okay baby."

Leaning forward, Emily placed a small kiss on JJ's nose, before pulling back and watching as JJ scrunched her nose up.

"You're adorable when you're half asleep."

Emily whispers sincerely, before she is swatted away by JJ.

"I am not! Go away!"

JJ said, as Emily let out a small laugh. She couldn't believe how she had gotten so lucky, as to have this beautiful woman, not just in her life, but who she was married to. Sometimes she felt like pinching herself just to make sure it was real and she wasn't dreaming.

"I'm going, I'm going! See you at work beautiful."

The brunette said, as JJ snuggled back in to the bed, grabbing hold of Emily's pillow and curling herself around it. She mumbled something that Emily could only just make out, as JJ was already slipping back to sleep.

"You're beautiful. I love you, Em."

"I love you too, Jennifer."

Placing a kiss on JJ's temple, Emily stood up and walked to the door. As she got there, she turned around, and a small smile spread across her face as JJ had already fallen back to sleep. Leaving the love of her life, she walked out of their home and headed out in to the early morning sun.

All sorts of thoughts ran through her head, as she drove to the diner where she was due to meet Jordan. With not much traffic around as it was just before the rush hour, Emily just enjoyed humming along to the music on the radio, wondering what Jordan was going to say. What JJ would say if she found out. That was something she could not guess as JJ's hormones were all over the place. She would probably be angry at first, but with time she would slowly come around. Well, that was what Emily hoped. She still wasn't sure if she should tell her wife or not, it wasn't like JJ and Jordan were going to be working together, after all.

Pulling in to the diner parking lot, she turned off the ignition before stepping out of the car. Looking in to the diner, she could see Jordan sitting at a window seat and she took a deep breath before approaching the door. Walking silently and with a cautious look, she approached the booth where Jordan was sat, and slipped in to the opposite side.

The two women stared at each other for a few minutes, neither of the saying anything before Jordan broke the silence.

"Thank you for meeting me. "

Emily just looked at her ex-girlfriend questioningly, seeing why she had been drawn to Jordan in the first place. The first time they had met, which was through mutual friends, they had immediately hit it off. She had been immediately struck by how beautiful Jordan was. And the more she had gotten to know her, the closer they had gotten, she had found that she was just as beautiful on the inside as well.

"To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm here."

Emily said, as Jordan reached across the table and grabbed hold of her hand. A little bit shocked, the profiler didn't immediately take her hand away.

"It's good that you are."

The moment was interrupted by the waitress clearing her throat, and Emily quickly pulled her hand away, slightly ashamed that she hadn't done it sooner. Avoiding the gaze of Jordan, she turned to the waitress.

"Want some coffee, honey?"

The older blonde lady asked, and all Emily wanted to do at that moment was run, get out of there and go back to JJ. But she had gone there for answers, and she was determined to get them. She just had to be careful that she didn't let her guard down again.

"Please, thank you."

An awkward silence fell as the waitress filled up her mug, but Emily could feel the eyes of Jordan on her. The brunette almost let out a sigh of relief, as the waitress broke the tension.

"Ready to order breakfast?"

Emily shook her head.

"I'm fine, thanks."

The waitress nodded, and walked away, leaving Emily and Jordan alone once again. Turning to meet her ex's gaze, she tried to think of something to say, figure out the questions she wanted to ask first but Jordan beat her to it.

"You should eat something."

Emily let out an angry sigh. Jordan had done too much to her to be able to care about her now. She didn't have the right to. The profiler didn't even like it back when they were together, when Jordan would go on about her eating habits. She was a grown woman, for god's sake. She could make her own mind up whether she wanted to eat or not, or whether she should. And it wasn't just the eating; she hated being told what to do by partners anyway. It's one of the things she loved about JJ, she cared, but mostly allowed her to do her own thing.

"Don't tell me what to do, you don't have the right."

"I wasn't."

"Good."

Taking a sip of her coffee, she thought back to the time they had together. She had loved Jordan with a passion, would have done anything for her, she had thought she was the one. She couldn't deny that seeing her again had brought up old feelings, but she had JJ. She had never felt anything for anyone, like she did for Jennifer, and Jordan wasn't going to come along and ruin that.

"You never were one for breakfast, or being looked after."

Emily let out a sigh, looking up to meet matching brown eyes, an intense anger in her own.

"Don't."

Another silence fell between them, and Emily took another sip of her coffee. Getting sick of beating around the bush, it was Emily's turn to break the silence, wanting the get it out of the way, so she could go to work and see her wife.

"What did you want to talk about Jordan?"

Startled by the bluntness of Emily's question, it took Jordan a minute or two before she answered.

"Us. Us at work specifically. I took the presumption that no one knew, that's why I acted like we didn't know each other."

"Yeah. I mean…you're right, they don't."

And it was true, they didn't know about Jordan. Before she had joined the BAU, and had met JJ, she had been very private about her personal life, wanting to keep it away from work. And she hadn't wanted to bring up the past when things had started to get intimate between herself and JJ, so Jordan had never come up. And besides, she hadn't wanted to bring her up, not after the hurt she had caused her, and not when she had started to move on.

"Do they know about you?"

Jordan asked, and Emily answered almost immediately.

"Yes."

At first it had been hard, wanting to stay private but also wanting to be a part of the team. She didn't know what to say about herself, but JJ was the first one she had opened up to, and she was relieved when it hadn't become an issue. In time she had told of the rest of the team, and they had immediately been accepting of her, not judging her at all. And Emily was forever grateful to have a team like that around her.

"You…you don't talk about me?"

"Why would I?"

Emily snapped back, and the brunette almost took it back when she saw the hurt flash across her ex's face. But she didn't, after all she deserved every bit of it.

"We were together for 3 years Emily. You gave me a ring. We had a life."

The profiler couldn't stop the scoff that came from her lips. Yeah, they had had a life, but Jordan had ruined it all.

"Apparently our life included you fucking someone else in our bed, didn't it?"

"Wow…"

Jordan whispered, and Emily shook her head angrily. The temporary liaison had no right to make her feel guilty, and Emily was determined not to be made to be.

"Oh, don't even play it that way Jordan."

"I made a mistake, Em. I'm human, just like you."

"Not just like me. I never cheated on you, and trust me when I tell you there were times I could have."

She wasn't lying, there were times she had almost been tempted if she was honest with herself. There were times when she found herself needing her girlfriend, but because of the distance she had no chance. And it wasn't like she didn't have her admirers, both men and women. If she had wanted to, she could have got with any of them and Jordan would never have found out. But she wasn't that type of person, she wasn't a cheater. For her, trust and love were the two main things in any relationship, and if you didn't have one of them then there wasn't really any chance of the relationship surviving.

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I loved you! You were enough for me. I didn't need anyone else but you! I obviously wasn't enough for you, was I?"

"Please don't say that."

Jordan pleaded, and Emily met her gaze, not wavering.

"Why? It's true."

"It wasn't you, I swear it wasn't. You've always been enough."

"Funny way of showing it."

Emily muttered, finally breaking eye contact with her ex. They were delving in to the past, but Emily wasn't happy with what she was hearing. She still didn't have the answers she wanted.

"Please Emily, you have to believe me. I was just…I was a fool, okay? You're so beautiful, and wonderful, and intelligent. The way you used to look at me, the things you used to do, they literally meant the world to me. It was like nothing else existed but me, you made me feel so special."

"Then why did you betray me?"

"I just…I got so confused. So scared."

"Scared? Of what?"

" You."

The brunette looked back up, a little surprised by the answer that had come from Jordan's lips. She didn't know why anyone would ever be scared of her.

"Me?"

"You really have no idea how amazing you are, do you? How perfect? You're just…god Emily I can't even explain it but you're just so high above everything. You glow, you make the world disappear. I was scared because I didn't know how to hold on to you when you were so obviously better than me. And I ended up betraying you. And I'm so, so sorry."

Emily could feel the blush that was rising up her neck. She never did think much of herself, and she always got embarrassed when someone else complimented her. Growing up she had rarely got them from her mother, so she never saw what other people saw.

"I'm not perfect, Jordan. I'm not above anyone. I'm just me; you should have talked to me. We could have talked about it and maybe saved ourselves the hurt."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"It's a little late for apologies now, isn't it? We're stuck working together for the next while, and I don't want any of this interfering."

She didn't want tension between them, knowing that if there was, then it would affect the whole team. And that was something they couldn't afford to have, not with the job they had.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm going to find it hard to work with out and not have a personal connection."

Jordan admitted, and Emily shook her head softly.

"Well you'll have to get used to it."

"Will I? Emily, we were so great together. Those 3 years were amazing, we both know that. We shared everything. We could again."

Emily almost asked her to repeat what she had said, not quite believing that Jordan had the nerve to suggest what she thought she was suggesting. A lot had happened in the three years they had been apart, JJ being the main one.

"What?"

"Maybe this is just what we needed. Maybe its fate. I think about you every day."

"What're you saying Jordan?"

"I'm saying that I want us to try again. I can earn your trust back I know it. I've changed Emily. And I still love you. I'm still in love with you. I want to be with you."

The profiler's eyes widened in shock, and she repeated what had just been said over and over in her head. She couldn't believe it, and she struggled to find the right words that she wanted to say to her ex.

"I…jesus Jordan…I don't…I can't…"

"Please, just think about it? Em I miss you every day. It hurts every second we're apart, even after this long. I don't think we're supposed to live without each other."

Again Jordan reached across the table for Emily's hand, but this time the brunette immediately pulled back, JJ's face flashing in her mind. Needing to put this end, she decided that now was the time to be honest with Jordan and herself.

"Maybe you can't live without me but I can live without you."

She watched, as Jordan put her hands back down on her lap, looking in disbelief at Emily.

"What?"

"You heard me. You're unbelievable, you know that? Everything is about what you feel, what you need, what you want. You haven't even stopped and asked me what I feel, what I want. And you've missed the blindingly obvious."

Standing up, Emily stood up and thrust out her left hand, making sure that Jordan could see her wedding ring clearly.

"I'm married Jordan. I'm already in love, but not with you. I have a life, a happy one. You did me a favour, sleeping with someone else. If you hadn't I would never have found the woman I'm supposed to be with. That's not you. I don't think about you, I think about her. Her, and our baby."

Emily watched as Jordan's face went to one of shocked, until finally she could see that her ex had caught on to who she was talking about.

"JJ…"

"She's my everything. My wife and my son are my everything. I was broken when I met her and she fixed me. JJ made me whole. She's my soul mate. See, so there is no us. There's JJ and me. You're only here while she has our baby, then you leave. That's all it is Jordan. "

Taking a last sip of her coffee, Emily turned around and headed back out, but a voice stopped her for just a minute.

"Emily please…"

Jordan pleaded, but Emily ignored her, needing to see her wife, and she briskly walked out. Walking away from her past, and towards her future.

**x x x**

**I know I probably don't deserve reviews, but I would love to hear what you think. Was it good, bad, just plain horrible? Reviews are like chocolate to me :)**


End file.
